Here are the facts. I have lost 42 pounds but I have gained almost 4 back.....with in the last week. Granted, I just took a mini get away and I wouldn't be so discouraged but it had taken me a whole month to lose 3 pounds! And before you say that I have hit a plateau, I don't think that I have because I am not doing well in the self control department. I also REALLY hurt my knee this weekend. (It is actually a really funny story of how I did it....it involves me, my coordination...or lack there of, and trying to dance a little/ act out me on a treadmill). I haven't been able to get back to working out and I MIGHT need to see a DR. to make sure I didn't tear anything. ANYWAY, THAT IS OFF THE SUBJECT!
I have felt really off. Like all of these convictions I had are slowly fading away as I resort back to the way of eating I have lived for 38 years. OK, I was a preemie and skinny for a few years. I also started to notice other areas in my life where I had been working on self control start to lossen it's grip and relax. But, there was a little voice inside of my saying" NO,wait! I want to change! I want a life filled with holy self control! I don't want to give into this sin again!"
As I was ready to put my focus back, the Lord gave me a blog post today. It was by Lysa Terkeurst. You can read it on her blog but this is what spoke to me.
" How many people choose to ingest truth but never choose to digest it?..... Just taking the inspiration of truth but never being transformed by it, will lead us down a dangerous path of doubt. Doubting ourselves. Doubting God. Doubting the effectiveness of thruth. ...... Reading truth but not applying it. Like a message I hear at church but not living it. Knowing what I must do to experience life change but never putting it into action. Taking in knowledge but never letting it make a difference in my life."
I know what the truth is about my sin. I have been studying why/ how I have been sinning against God with food and my lack of self control in certain areas of my life. I know the lies I tell myself when I really want to eat something I shouldn't. I am so thankful to the Lord for that blog post today. I prayed for something to give me the desire to get back on track. In her book "Made to Crave" Lysa talks about this. There has to be something more than us wanting to lose weight to look good,etc. (insert your reason). Pretty soon the compliments fade, people will be used to the "skinny you", you will be done losing weight. So what will keep the weight off? It is the fact the your number one reason is to honor God with your body and in my case, honor God with my self control.
Does any of that make sense? I hope one day I can look back at these blog posts and say "Hallelujah! I have done it!" Or at least I might not struggle as much as I do now.
What are you struggling with? If you are a Christian and you know your struggling, what have you been studying in God's word to help you over come your sin? Are you digesting the truth or just ingesting it?
Psalm 51:6 " Behold you delight in the truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart."