Well, it's been a little while. Things around here have not changed much. Matt and I have hit our one year mark of him being with out a job. Let me first say how proud I am of my husband. He has been so diligent in trying to find a job...FOR A YEAR. He has humbled himself, put himself out there like no man wants to do. He is not satisfied or comfortable to be living with his parents. While we are so grateful they have opened their home, I am thankful I have a man who wants to live and provide for his family and is not content with anything different. He has been diligent and consistent with nothing to show for it. When I have been weak, he has been strong. Also when I have been strong, he has been weak.
The last couple of days have been hard. We are both down, weary, we've both had enough. Now it's me just being REALLY honest..... People always say to me that Matt and I have been through more trials than anyone they know, that we have been such an example of waiting on the Lord. Well, lately I have been at the point where I am like, "OK Lord, when are you going to let up? When will Matt get a job? I have left everything , everyone I love and I am still in this trial and I am starting to really not be happy about it." I know that I am beyond in a pity party but this is being real.
God gave me a gift of being in a women's bible study, in a church that we are starting to love. We are going through 1 Peter that talks about being in trials. Today was so good, I tried not to cry sitting there. Our teacher, Leslie, talked about what we need to be doing going through a trial (because they WILL come!) I felt like Jesus was nudging me, knowing that this is all hard but reminding me of my responsibility in this situation.
1Peter 4:1 " Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin."
1. We are to arm ourselves, be ready, prepared. We are armed for anything that will happen to us in this world. We have direct access to Jesus if we need Him!
1Peter 4:7 " The end of all things is at hand; therefore, be self-controlled and sober minded for the sake of your prayers."
2. The first thing to do in a trial is to spend time alone with God. He commands us to be self-controlled and sober minded (this comes from God, ask Him to give you the right mind in this trial. These are for the purpose of prayer.) By spending time with God, He wants to explain it to you and provide for you.
3. ( v.8) God wants us to be others centered in a trial. Keep love for others earnest. (hospitality, even as it's uncomfortable for you. It's more that entertaining. This is not about what a good hostess you are, it's about meeting a need)
4. (v.10) Use your spiritual gifts to enhance the body. Focus on loving others.
Things to remember in a trial:
(v.13) There is a command to rejoice in a trial. We can rejoice that Jesus is coming again and we can honor Him with our behavior. We are going to live with Him forever and reign with Him!
(v.14) We are blessed. Jesus is with us in this trial. He will give us wisdom.
(v.15-16) don't sin but glorify God in the trial.
(v.19) Entrust your soul to God
I know that some of these points are not typed out all perfect but I don't feel very organized and perfect right now.
If you think about it and want to pray for us, pray that I will be all of these things. That I will have the right mindset. That I will endure for as long as He wants me to. That Matt and I both will be what God wants us to be. I pray earnestly that Matt will get a job that provides for us. I pray that we will hear about how much we owe on his medical bills and that we will have enough to pay them. Deep down, no matter how sad, lonely, frustrated, uncomfortable I get, I really do want to be faithful to the Lord. Pray that I seek Him even more, Knowing Him more, loving Him more.
Thank you friends!
The Beauty of Victory and Defeat
17 hours ago