Thursday, July 25, 2013

Checkin' In

Hey Y'all!  Long time no chat!  I can't believe that I haven't posted since March!  In one sense, I have been enjoying my summer with Ivy being home.  We haven't had a huge schedule and I have loved that (maybe not as much as Ivy.  I can't say the word "school" in front of her!).  I have missed blogging.  I think some people (more private people) wonder why I put half the pictures I do up or say half of the things I say.  ha ha   I look at my blog as my personal scrapbook.  I love sharing adventures, pictures, struggles, answered prayers.  I love to look back and see where the Lord has brought Matt and I. etc.  Some people don't get that and that's OK.  I mostly do it for me and I actually like to share some imperfect stuff sometimes because I don't want you to think I am all "perfect instagrammy".(Although we have done some fun stuff this summer that I will try and blog about.)

Two things.  First of all, my church had a breakfast last week where someone shared their testimony and we all had breakfast together.  I loved it!  I love hearing broken people who share the same struggles as we all do and they share how much they need Jesus and how much His love has been enough.  They cling to it the same as you and me.

The second thing is that this week I celebrated 16 beautiful, hard, tear-filled, wonderful, stressed, amazing, stretching years married to Matt Elliott. We spent a couple of days going over the last 16 years (18 together), the last year, us as a couple and as individuals.  If you are friends with me on Facebook and even on this blog you know how I have LOVED this last year in Tennessee.  (Yesterday was our one year Tennessee anniversary.  Holla!)  There are so many things that I love about living here which I'm sure I have shared before.  Don't even get me started because I won't stop.  Someone  wrote me just this week inquiring about Tennessee  and possibly moving here, asking me what I like and I started laughing.  I told Matt that they were asking the wrong person because I'm very bias.  ha ha

Matt and I talked about how much we love living here and we would do everything again in a heartbeat!  Same job, same apartment, same area, same church .  But in other ways we(I) have been very unhappy.  There are areas of my life ( a lot of areas) where my decisions have gotten me into a rut, unhealthy lifestyle.  I feel unfulfilled, not content, unhappy....because of choices I have made.

  For starters I (continued) to gain A LOT of weight this year.  It started with the trials of moving from California and then those habits continued into boredom, my new love for Southern cuisine, snacks with Lucy..... you name it.  I love food.  I love to cook it, eat it, think about it, read cookbooks.... and while all those things are not sinful, food is definitely an idol in my life.  Period.

This summer has been hard to really get into God's word.  I know we all have seasons like this but it has left me starved, unhappy, my thought life is wacky.  I am not spending good, quality time with my best friend.  The other night I was really struggling with thoughts about someone.  I kept praying about it, I went to sleep and I felt yucky and couldn't sleep well.  I felt my yucky heart.  It was affecting my mind, body and soul literally.  The next morning over coffee I sat down to take time in my bible and he brought me to Galatians 6.  I am not an advocator of opening the bible and landing on a verse from the Lord but that chapter fed my soul.

I sat down this morning and really thought about what is making me unhappy.  How I wanted to live.  While none of these "Things" these "to do's" make me look better in God's eyes, save me from my sins,etc.  I believe 'living your best life" is living in obedience to God.  I feel better being close to Him.  Living as He intended.  It's peaceful.  My outlook is way different.  I know there are other people that could use better words than I can.  Say it more spiritual.

What were some things on my list?  Some deep topics and some light.  I felt like I was making a huge new year's resolution.  I'm not going to put that kind of pressure on myself but I would like to look at this list and go all Nike on myself.  Meaning as I look at my list and think I want to be like that then "Just Do It."

Some things on my list: Certain people that I need to pray for consistently. Be more intentional with Ivy.  Memorize certain scripture.  (My first round is only 6 verses long but it's one I need in my heart). Make healthier meals that my family enjoys.  Lose 80 pounds. (Insert wide eyed emoji) P.S. I have done it twice before. Understand and live the gospel better.  And more......

Listen,  I realize we who are Christians go through ups and downs. I'm not trying to be really hard on myself.   I just took a look and noticed that while this year the Lord has given my family so much blessing there are things to change and they are things that I can do something about.  It really comes down to discipline.  I'm thankful that the Lord doesn't let me be content when I am not being my best.  I will never be perfect (that is not the point of this little post)  I'm not trying to be.  God says in the bible that I never will be and that is why He sent Jesus.  I'm thankful for that.

Imperfect, flawed, grateful Kelli signing off for now......

1 comment:

  1. Good morning, sweet girl! As I went to bed last night, the Lord brought you to mind. Really! My thought, how's Kel doing? Is she preparing for her run/walk in the fall. I need to call and catch up. I wonder how all is going spiritually. The Lord is amazing, Kel. He leaves us with our thoughts and unfinished desires so we'll look to Him. So grateful to read your honest 'confessions'. The Lord is good. I'm going to add your 'list' to mine and pray for you as I get up each morning. I started doing that for a few people a few months ago. When my day begins, prayer seems to go away--fast! It's helped me to pray as I wash my face and get dressed. Love you, dear friend. As you submit your will to God, he'll grant to grace and productivity. You, go girl! Go, all-out-for God! Love you.