An EXCITING start to 2016

We were going to wait to share this news but people are starting to post things on Facebook so I asked Matt if I could write on my blog today.  Let me just say that I am BEYOND excited to not be writing about my struggles with waiting in trials. I know I must sound like a broken record but I almost feel like this place is my diary.  So…I want to document what's happening with our family.     

I feel like I need to address the last few weeks.  The last weeks of December were a big struggle for Matt and I .  We found out on Christmas Eve (Ivy's birthday) that Matt didn't get a job that he was REALLY hoping for.  The reason he didn't get it was because through his background check we found out that he never graduated from college.  WHAT????  He walked in graduation, we had a party, I have been paying on his loans for 18 years and he even took me on a cruise to celebrate being done.  He has three classes to finish and he has started the process.  But long story short, he lost the job because the info. on his application was inaccurate.  The weird thing is,in  his last three jobs he needed a college degree.  It was a hard pill to swallow after he had applied for jobs for a full year straight with hardly any interviews and this job looked so promising.

As you remember (if your my friend on Facebook) I wasn't handling things very well.  The Lord used this time to reveal things in my life that I was desiring  more than I was desiring Christ.  In my mind I was desiring treasures on earth way more than desiring Him.  With this job gone, He stripped any hope of those things entering my life anytime soon.  It has actually been a sweet time between me and the Lord.  I know that He is the only One that satisfies. I wish I  wouldn't struggle so much with it but I do.  He continually shows me why I need Him so much.

So….last Friday a friend set up an interview for Matt in medical purchasing here  in Nashville.  Matt has wanted to get into medical purchasing for a couple of years but everyone wants medical purchasing experience.  He went to the interview, came home not really knowing either way how it went and in less than two hours the company was calling to offer Matt the job.  We just sat there and cried.  My mind kept taking me to how much I have struggled, how I have fought the Lord to gain control of the situation, how undeserving we were and then he blesses us with this.  Pure undeserving grace.  We were waiting to tell people to make sure the background check went through but decided to announce it today.  Matt's birthday.  So the girls and I bought him a "manly" lunch box to take to work.  It comes with compartments and ice packs so that he can bring a salad or hummus and veggies.  He loved it!

  

He is so excited to work.  He is so cute, he reminds me that he's going to work on February 1 just in case I forgot. The company is also close to his Dr. so he can go for chemo during his last year of treatment.  He hasn't worked in 2 and a half  years and the man is ready.  Best. birthday. gift. ever!

2015 The Best Year Yet?

Happy New Year everyone!  I have spent sometime reflecting on 2014 and thinking about the new  year…..like everyone else.  2014 gave us some highs and lows.  The biggest high was Matt's leukemia being in remission.  We got our daddy and husband back.  He has regained strength and has been able to start doing things with us as a family, church, soccer games and friends.  We have LOVED it.  He is in year two of his (hopefully) 3 year treatment.  His dr. visits are now limited to 2 a month and he just  got the OK to start looking for a job. 

2014 was also tough.  I lost my dad and grandma a month apart.  My dad's illness was rough for a while before he passed away and I still think about all that that entails but I do believe that my dad believed the gospel and is in heaven.  My grandma (his mom)  loved the Lord and after my dad died, her whole immediate family was gone and she just wanted to get to heaven to be with them.  My grandma was a prayer warrior and sometimes I thought the Lord kept her alive specifically so that we would continue to be prayed for.  I'm so happy that they are together and I'm thankful for the hope we have in heaven to see them again.  My mom has taken care of them for so long that now that they are gone, there is a void for sure.  I'm praying for my mom's grief, and her future decisions.  

This marked Lucy's first season of soccer.  While her games were…..entertaining as the "Cotton Candy Girls", Ivy's team was more competitive and this mama loved it!  I have thanked the girls for playing soccer for me.(wink) I'm waiting for them to tell me to get out on the field and "do it myself"  as I call out some "helpful instruction". (No matter that I have never played the sport before in my life! haha)

I have read so many comments that 2015 is going to be the best year yet.  Some people have struggled through trials, breakups, job loss, sickness, devastation in the year 2014, and as I want to say that for the Elliott's I hope that this is our best year yet, I can't do it.  Why?  Because I have learned after all these years that life is hard, trials come, sickness comes, death is real.

 Listen, I want Matt to get a job this year that can support our family, I NEED to lose weight, I want a breath of fresh air from hardship, I have vowed to take better care of my 42 year old skin and body.
But really, whatever the year brings, I want to cling to Jesus.  I want to study Him to know Him better. Less head knowledge, more heart.  Enter into a deeper relationship because I know that whatever 2015 brings, I'm going to need Him.

This year brought a lot I'm thankful for.  I saw my husband crawl back from being at death's door, the Lord financially took care of our needs.  I've made deeper friendships in Tennessee.  I enjoyed my girls.    My dad met Jesus face to face!

I struggle with a lot of material wants.  I can yell out how I think apartment living is not for me. :)  There are some stores I could live at.  But I am starting to see that my happiness and contentment has nothing to do with things and places (as much as I think they do)  and it's more to do with Him.  I hope that on paper that this is our best year yet but if it's not.  I choose Him.  Whatever we are going to go through, I'll go with Him and the 3 other people He has blessed me with.  Here's to see what 2015 brings…bring it on!

Reminders of how much my husband loves me

This summer was such an answered prayer.  Matt was told that his leukemia is in remission.  He has gained a lot of his strength back, energy, has gotten to come to church and soccer games with our family.  We have had get togethers with other families, a couple of date nights, company from out of town, pool days and days where we had absolutely nothing to do….. exactly the kind of days we were looking forward to.  He has two more years of treatment but (hopefully) the worst is behind us.

Since I started teaching a few biblestudy lessons at church for our women's biblestudy, I have not taken the time to read a lot of other books, especially fiction.  There is one series, however, that I wanted to read and I waited until summer to do it.  It was a 5 book series and I knew that I would be hooked so I waited until my library had all 5 books.  This week was the week and I told myself (and Matt) that I was going to go hard on all five books and give myself a week of self indulgence and get it all done in one week.  The stories were about a Christian family with 5 kids and all 5 books took a different kid and focused all that kids' life.  I got really hooked!  Soon after, I HAD to talk about these people's lives with someone and well….Matt is always around.

Our conversation went something like this……
Me: " Matt,  I know you will think I'm dumb and you don't want to do this but I need to talk about this family with someone."
Matt: "No, it's not going to be me."
Me: (laughing and urging) "  Matt, Some of the decisions they are making are so wrong and if I could just tell you about it."
Matt:  " Ya,  I don't want to do this."  ( I could see him wishing for a job or a place to go…)

(Later in the car on the way to the fair)
Me:  "  I can't get this out of my mind."
Matt: (holding his breath and then slowly letting it out….I'm starting to laugh because I feel like I'm writing a book now.  hahaha)  "OK, what is going on?"

(We spend the rest of the ride to the fair while I pour my heart and opinions out to him about this family where he just nods his head in response.  We get to the fair and I thank him.)

(Next day he walks in the room and I'm crying)
Me: "The mom died."
Matt: "I'm sorry babe.  That's sad…… are the books done?"
Me: "Yes, but I found out it leads into a different series."

And that my friends is how much Matt loves me!

Though He slay me, yet I will Hope in Him.

I know that I should update this blog more often.  Even for my own memory since so many things become a blur.  I kind of wait until the Lord puts something on my heart or there is a major update.  I will update you on Matt.  He was in the hospital last week for four days because of dehydration.  He couldn't eat anything and he couldn't keep anything down.  He has lost around 60 pounds since his diagnosis 5 months ago.  The hardest part is when his spirits get down.  When he is discouraged and lonely.  Lonely but is not up for visitors and lots of phone calls.  This time entering the hospital was maybe the worst he has looked, thus me taking him to the hospital.

Matt had a doctor's appointment today where the Dr. told him that they are going to not go ahead with the next two chemo treatments.  He was getting a drug called Methatrexate and people either respond really well to it or responds really bad.  So…. they think he has enough of it in his body and they are going to forgo the rest.  They are going to give him another couple of weeks of rest (to get his blood counts up again)  and then they are going to give him another bone marrow biopsy to see if they see any cancer.  If there is not leukemia, then he can start a new kind of chemo and keep going.  If there is leukemia that has come back, the Dr. wants to talk to us about a stem cell transplant.  That kind of rocked our world as we had thought that we were past talking about that.  It actually kind of scared both of us. So, we wait until his counts come back up and he is stronger, then have the biopsy and wait for the results.  Please pray that no cancer has returned.

People have asked how I am doing and what I am learning.  A friend said it best on Sunday, I might not see what the Lord is teaching me until this is behind us.  Really some days I cling to the Lord and bury my face in Scripture to comfort my soul, read it to Matt to comfort his.  Some days (most days) I am like a zombie, going through the motions of life.  Busy life, trying to make it as normal of a life for the girls as I can.  I take things day by day as I don't know what the day is going to bring.  Honestly,  I (we) are just trying to make it through.  Make it to the other side.  Day by day.  I constantly tell Matt that if can make it through the day, he has won the day.  It doesn't matter if it was hard or easy, he conquered it.

People have asked me what books I have read to help me.  Besides the bible, maybe none.  Who has time to read?  ha ha  Maybe I should but as Matt doesn't want to hear about/ talk about cancer and chemo all the time, I don't either.  Some might help but right now I'm studying for a bible study I am teaching a lesson on.  Maybe after that…..

One thing that I have thought about is that Matt and I have been through a lot together (job loss, infertility, adoptions, losing a baby through adoption, losing our house and moving and now leukemia) Through each trial, the Lord has taught me more about a certain character of Him or some theme.  Longing for babies, He taught me about His faithfulness.  Adopting our girls and even losing Sissy, He taught me His Sovereignty and love.  One thing I have thought more of in this trial than in any is hope.  I have never really focused on hope before until now.

I do have hope.  Knowing that Jesus hears my prayers when I beg Him on behalf of my family brings me hope.  Knowing that this life is not all there is, that I have a future in heaven gives me hope.  Knowing that He loves Matt, Ivy, Lucy and I gives me hope.  Seeing Him working miracles in our situation gives me hope.  Knowing He walks beside me gives me hope.

Job 13:15  "Though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him."

Release

I know people have been waiting for updates.  I just haven't known what to write.  I could write a blog post about how tired I am or how selfish I am. (wink) People ask me how I'm doing and I say fine, because for the most part I am.  Then when things slow down and I have a minute, or I'm at church and we sing a certain song and I am still long enough to focus on the words, that's when I get a lump in my throat and I fight the tears.  I think I finally said it best today while texting with a friend and I was cleaning, disinfecting everything and I was starting to cry.  I wrote," The problem is , I don't know which part of all of this I am crying about."

For those of you who are not on instagram or Facebook, Lucy got the flu and Matt got a high temperature which put him back in the hospital.  His treatment is postponed until next week and they are going to keep him overnight and then re evaluate.  Lucy has eaten twice now without throwing up so she might be getting better.  Ivy was asked to go to the movies and lunch this afternoon so I think that makes up for the fact that Lucy was sleeping with her last night and got sick in HER bed.

How am I doing?  I'm tired ya'll.  My friend told me last week that one of the reasons all of this is such a shock to me is that Matt is a great daddy and husband and has always helped me a lot.  While that wasn't the case last year because of his work schedule, I've  had a lot of help from Matt the last 7 years of parenting.  He would help give a quick bath or do some dishes.  Now I am solo, plus adding doing everything for him on top of it.  And having  work and other outside activities. Don't get me wrong.  I love doing it for him (most of the time…another wink).  I have even thanked the Lord for this opportunity to learn to serve my family better, serve Matt, think more outside myself…. but that doesn't mean it's easy.  I definitely have had to work at giving myself an attitude adjustment at times and just give it all to the Lord to gain the right perspective.

Before you say…."Aren't you concerned about Matt and his health?"  Yes, I am.  But I know he can be doing much worse.  I try to take care of him and if I even see him struggling to stay awake or take his temperature I am there waiting to see the result.  I seem to have one eye on what I'm doing and one eye on him.  But I constantly remind him that we could be in a much worse situation and we need to be thanking the Lord for how well Matt has been doing.  As much as I want him home tonight, I do feel safe with him at the hospital being monitored and getting more meds, away from all of our germs.

This basket of goodies on my doorstep this afternoon.

I sound like a broken record when I say I am so thankful for my friends.  Texts this morning offering to take Ivy and Lucy for me this afternoon.  I finally let Ivy go to the movies with a friend and then I had these goodies at the door for Lucy and I.  I cleaned the whole apartment so I can rest this afternoon from being up all night with Lucy.  ( Can I just say,  I complain about living in an apartment until I have to really clean it.  Then 1000 sq ft. isn't so bad.)  I'm thankful for the example of others.  I think of my friend Jan, in the own trial, she has focused her mind on Christ and has looked to Him to be the ultimate comforter.  I think of my mom and all that she has been enduring trying to sell their house, take care of my dad, work full time.  I will not forget her words this summer as I didn't want to leave her and go home and she said, " You can go, I have Jesus."  

I was praying really hard for this sweet lady from our church this weekend who was in a coma.  I prayed for her all day on Friday and Friday she woke up.  I pictured smoke rising to heaven, an offering  in the form of prayers to God from His people.  So pleasing to Him, that His children would turn to Him for requests concerning our dear sister.  This morning as I knew people were praying for Matt I thought the same thing.  How pleased the Lord is that we all turn to Him and make our requests known.  I'm so thankful that He has even given us that relationship to Him.

I'm actually looking forward to getting into bed this afternoon.  Listening to good music, spending time with the Lord and letting the tears flow and just RELEASE.  Keep praying! 

Home Update

I know that people have been waiting for an update from me.  As most of  you know, Matt came home on Wednesday night.  I have tried to upload the video of Matt surprising the girls but it's not working.  If we are friends on facebook then you have seen it.  I cleaned for 6 hours the day before Matt got home to make sure everything was sanitized.  I had a break down talking to him on the phone the next day because I was so scared of him getting sick at home but I didn't know how I could keep up the cleaning schedule.  He reminded me that his health was in the Lord's hands and I had to stop trying to control it.  I have never seen a man more excited to be home.  My friend Ami set the most amazing dinner on our doorstep and we kept commenting that it was like Christmas dinner!

Matt getting his pills organized with what to take each day.

He has been taking it easy, driving Ivy to her bus stop.  We live on the second floor, so the walk to and from the car, plus the stairs are enough to wear him out right now.  We went to the dr. for his first appointment and his blood counts were AMAZING!  They have already removed some restrictions that they had put on him.  Most of his counts were in the normal range! 

Matt's WBC 4.3 (normal range 4.6/10.6) ...Matt's platelets 173 (normal range 142/424) ...Matt's NE# 2.09  (normal range 2.00/7.80)

 Praise God!  When Matt got in the car and told me, I could not even believe it.  It truly is a gift from the Lord.  I sat there thinking, I didn't know you could have leukemia and get so much good news.  We still have a long way to go and things can change day to day but I am praising God for all that has been coming our way. He has a bone marrow biopsy on Monday and he will still do at least a year of outpatient chemotherapy.   He is still going to be a hermit for a while and take everything slow and easy but he's doing great.  

The Lord has been blessing us in other ways, packages from friends, cards, gift cards and we even got a HUGE package from our credit card company that heard about Matt.  They sent tons of books and toys for the girls ( I took half of it out to save for Christmas).  Matt and I are definitely living month to month but the Lord has taken care of us each month and in the most unique ways.  

It still makes me sad when the girls and I are going somewhere and we have to leave MAtt at home and go by ourselves because he can't be out with a lot of other people but I am reminding Ivy and myself, how much the Lord has blessed us.  People have had a much rougher road than us and have endured it with a lot less encouragement that Matt and I have had.  We feel such a strong love of friends, the Church, our community.  It has been so beautiful to see.  

Please keep praying for Matt.  We still have a long road but I am so glad to walk this road together.  Thank you and we love you!  #teamdad

Kelli's Update

Taken after lunch this afternoon

I know that we are about due for an update.  I will start with Matt.  He is doing really good.  He is responding to medicine really well and has had minimal side affects.  I notice that he is a lot more tired so he takes more naps and he says that he has (what feels like) heartburn.  That has really been it.  The Dr's continue to fill him with blood and platelets.  Tests are coming back good but I have (wisely) been advised to not put my trust in Dr's tests and what they say but continue to put my trust in the Lord.  Matt's parents left yesterday and he has had more visitors which he looks forward to when he is up to it.  

As for how I am doing.....I have mentally written this part of the blog over a couple of times.  I share because I don't know how to be anything but honest and this blog is kind of like a diary.  WHY I make my diary public, I don't know.....some of my friends don't know.( I laugh as I write that)  But I feel better.  Would it really do anybody any good if I just share the times when my faith and trust in the Lord are strong and unwavering?  Then you wouldn't think that I am being honest.  When you hurt and struggle, you wouldn't think that I could relate at all.  Well I can.

I actually had a really good day yesterday, soccer game, pictures, washed cars, clean apartment.  As we were talking to Matt last night, he asked me to bring him some chips.  That was it.  I got mad and irritated.  I said, "Matt, I am dealing with money, bills, insurance, the girls, schedules, babysitting, bible study, cleaning and your chips are the last thing I am going to worry about."I ranted to him about packed days, schedules,etc. while he listened and apologized.  Then, of course, I felt bad and apologized.  We got off the phone and I knew my attitude was bad,  I tucked the girls in and said prayers (while in my head thinking that here I was alone doing all of this by myself again.)  I was irritated knowing that I needed a spiritual spanking.  I prayed for the Lord to take it all from me, did part of my bible study, hoping that Jesus was going to have me read something that was going to change my attitude and heart.  I went to bed and woke up feeling the same.

This morning on my way to church I was still praying about it, when we got to church and I stood there singing(or listening) , something that my friend had said in a conversation at bible study came into my head.  We were talking about the book of Psalms in the bible.  How that book is a very emotional book and filled with people crying out to God.  My friend had said,"God can take your anger at Him."  I started to cry.  It was as if the Holy Spirit told me exactly what was bothering me.  I was mad at Him.  I don't want to be.  I just stood there thinking.....  I don't want to be a spokesperson for trials.  I don't want to be a cancer advocate.  I don't want to "hold down the fort" all by myself.  I don't want to drive to Nashville everyday and find places for Lucy to go.  I don't want to be used by Him in this way.  I don't want this to be God's best for me and my family.  I don't even want this to be my attitude.  I don't want this bad attitude in my heart.  

Then to make matters worse,  I started to think of all of the people working so hard for my family.  Even with this terrible attitude, the Lord is working on blessing my family.  He can take it.  All of it.  And still working everything for my good.  My best.  

I wish there was another way.  Another way for Him to be glorified, teach me lessons, minister to others.  So what was my conclusion today?  What answer did I come to?  It's not all about me.  I'm so glad that He offers forgiveness.  He died for my attitude.  I need Him. 

 Standing there in church I told him simply that I trust Him.  I don't like it.  I don't get it.  But I trust Him.  

Fundraisers for Matt

For someone who loves to write on her blog, I wish someone else was writing this post.  It feels weird for me to be writing this but since people check here for updates, I am here to highlight a couple of fundraisers that people have set up for our family.  Although,  Matt and I do not want to be the ones asking people for money, we acknowledge that God has already shown us that He has put it on people's hearts to bless our family and I know that is one way He chooses to give us what we need.  I also want people's hard work that the Lord put on their own hearts to be successful.  Matt and I have been surprised and overwhelmed by people's creativity and ideas that they have  thought of.

I guess now is as good a time as any to really share what our needs are.  I look at them as two fold.  One,  Matt is going to be out of work for at least one year.  We are looking into and have applied for a program that will provide us with a percentage of what his salary was.  The rest...... we haven't thought of the rest and we don't know when we will start getting that assistance.  I will say that I have speedily given all of the nessesary paperwork in to get the ball rolling.

The second is that before our insurance pays anything, we have a $10,000 deductible.  Every year.  (His treatment is going to be at least 3 years).

I am not going to lie.  I have freaked out a little but I have chosen to concentrate on Matt and the girls and I have chosen to remind myself of all of the ways the Lord has provided for us in the past.  And......I haven't gotten a bill in the mail yet which makes it a little easier to push aside.  But.... it's coming.  Soon.

So let's get off that topic and let me tell you about some amazing opportunities that have come our way.

The first one is THIS SATURDAY, September 28 in Valencia, California.  Kristen Wells, author of the book, "The Warring Soul"  is having a book signing at Baker's Gourmet Coffee and Pastries, 23880 Copperhill Drive from 1-3pm.  All proceeds go to Matt.  There will be donation jars and an auction with amazing prizes such as a photography session, hair cut, desserts, and a vacation!  You can "like" the Warring Soul on facebook to get information or go to her website where she has an article about Matt and his best friend, Greg, who is Kristen's husband.

The second is a page a friend set up as a paypal page to donate to Matt.  You can click on the right side of my blog to go straight there or youcaring.com/teamdad  You can also "like" this page or share it on Facebook.

I happen to think that my friends are pretty awesome and creative.  Today I came home and recieved gifts and cards with donations in the mail.  Daily reminders that God will provide.  Matt and I are so thankful for all of you.  We don't want anyone to feel obligated to give money.  Actually prayer is what has lifted up my heavy heart the most.  I'm thankful that while I am concentrating on the needs of my girls and husband, that the Lord is working in the hearts of people we love and that love us to accomplish His will for our family.  So, thank you everyone.

OK.....enough about money!  I'm going to get back to concentrating on Matt.

The Journey Continues....

I feel like I need to write more often to let people know how we are doing.  Matt is doing really good.  The Dr. said that he is taking everything (medicine wise) really good and responding well.  He had a spinal tap last week that showed no leukemia in his spinal fluid!  I have noticed that he is tired more and he had a hard time sleeping last night because of tingles in his legs.  I had a really good day with him and we laughed ALOT!  Our favorite nurse was working and Matt told the whole team of Dr.'s that she had not been tending to him all morning!  You should have seen her face!  She had actually been in a lot.  All the Dr.s were laughing....Oh Matt!

The Lord showed us that He is watching over our needs.  We had three visitors from Matt's work and they told us that he had a couple bonuses coming that we didn't know about and they had also taken a collection from all of the fellow managers and some customers.  I think I am going to have enough money to pay our bills next month!  We are working to apply for some disability and that will take some time.  I feel like the Lord wants me to depend daily for our needs and to watch Him work.  Matt will be out of work for at least a year.  I remind myself that the Lord already knew that, He allowed it, and while I freaked out at first.... and don't get me wrong, I still fight the urge to freak out.  I am working hard to loosen my grip and let the Lord do His will.  I am finding more answers than I knew before and I am trying to just focus on Matt and the girls and let the Lord do the rest.

Lucy got a bad cold this week and I still pushed her and that resulted in her and I missing both days of preschool this week.  It was rest we both needed and I tried to use my time wisely and get things done.  Matt's parents are here to see him and they watched Lucy today so I could spend the day with him.

Here are some thoughts from the week......

It is so funny to be going through something terrible yet feel so much blessing.

First my love for Matt.  I told Ivy yesterday that I love her daddy more now than I ever have.  He is my best friend.  When we go through a trial, we just get better.  I love him so much and how much he tells me that he is going to fight for his three girls.  I start to cry every time I say goodbye to Him at the hospital. I don't know how different he is going to feel when I return.  Today he told me how much he loved me and I felt it.  He told me that he watches me out the window walk to my car and today I stopped across the street and turned and waved at the hospital.  I didn't even know what window it was but he saw me.  I might have felt a tad stupid but I wanted to wave one more time.  #iluvmatt

I am overwhelmed by the love of my friends and the body of Christ.  Our family feels so loved by packages, texts, letters, facebook messages.  I can't believe how you can be scared and broken hearted and yet feel so loved and lifted up at the same time.  #iluvmyfriendsandfamily

The Lord knew what He was doing giving me Ivy and Lucy. They are so different but I need them both! Ivy is so tenderhearted.  There have been times when I have started to pray with them at night and I just fall apart.  I cry HARD and Ivy rubs my back telling me that sometimes it's good to let your body cry.  We cry as I try to point her to Christ.  He is the One we cry out to.  He is the great Healer for our daddy.  We beg Him through tears together.  My friend Ashley says that when you cry in front of your kids, they see who you are turning to in times of heartache.  I've done that with Ivy (although I try not to cry in front of her too much.)  Then there is Lulu.  Man.  She has been my source of laughter and entertainment.  I swear she is getting a southern accent and she is as funny as ever.  She has times where she sincerely tells me that she misses her daddy.  I agree with her and we keep going.

So...the journey continues.  I feel like a rambled long but my thoughts are endless.

Psalm 34:18 " The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

The Only Way Out is Through

I have quoted lines from this sermon so much over the last couple of years that I finally decided to post it.  I think every Christian should take the time to listen to this.  My pastor Byron preached this sermon in 2011 when we weren't even living in Nashville but I have listened to it so many times, including today.  If you are not a Christian but you are wanting to know where my focus has been, then here it is. Leave a comment and tell me how it has ministered to your own life.  I would love for ya'll to take time and listen to it.

The Day I Met Kirk Cameron

I had a sweet lady from church share a story with me today that had reminded her of a story I told at our first women's breakfast at church.  I think I might have shared this story on a previous blog while talking about Ivy's adoption story but I thought I would sit down and write it again.  I have always wanted Kirk to hear this story and who knows.....

This story goes back almost 9 years ago while still living in California.  Wow!  I can't believe it!  I am getting old.  haha  Anyways,  Matt and I had been trying to have a baby for a while and had turned to infertility treatments to try and help us.  It was a hard, scary, lonely, depressing trial that the Lord had us in.  Things had not been working in our favor.  My doctor was in Thousand Oaks and I would have to drive from Santa Clarita (about 45 minutes on a good day) every other day.  I would go by myself because Matt could not take that much time off work.  My work was generous with my time but it would still stress me out.

This was a particularly hard day because I was feeling really emotional.  I had tried to be strong for so long and I was at the end of my rope.  I tried to hurry through the appointment because I was getting ready to cry and I didn't want to do it in front of the doctor.  I got in the car and just sat there.  I couldn't even pull away.  I started to pray.  One of those prayers when you have nothing left.  You are so broken and weak and you NEED Christ to take the reigns. (Or wheel...thank you Carrie Underwood)  I told the Lord that I was so down and I had been discouraged without good news for so long that I needed something from Him.  I wasn't asking Him to make me pregnant or to hurry us out of the trial but I needed something from Him to show me that He was there.  That He saw me.  That He was going to lift me up.  I remember that I reaffirmed to Him that I would try hard to press on and be a testimony for Him.

(Insert background:  Jr high and high school.  I was one of those girls that LOVED Kirk Cameron.  I would pray for his salvation because we couldn't be married if he wasn't saved.  HAHA  Oh young girls!  As an adult when people would play the game of what celebrity they would want to meet and people would say, Brad and Angelina or Tom Cruise, I would always say Kirk Cameron.  WHAT?  I would get a good laugh.  It got really embarrassing when some of my friends actually became friends with the Cameron family and they always said..."I have this friend Kelli."  UGH!  I would have never said anything if I knew that! haha)

Back to my story.....

I got in my car and drove to a gas station and I saw a guy that had a 80's look about him.  It was not Kirk Cameron but it made me think of him and I literally said, " Now Lord.  That would make my day!"  Like.  Yes Lord.  That would for sure cheer me up (meeting Kirk Cameron).  I kind of chuckled on the inside.  On my way out of town I stopped at Jamba Juice to get a drink on my way back for work and who was there, reading his bible outside of Jamba Juice?  KIRK CAMERON!!!!

I. ABOUT. DIED.   I wanted to call Matt.  (You know.  My husband.  The one I love and actually DID marry.)  Matt had always told me that if I ever saw him I had to say hello because he never wanted to hear me talk for the rest of my life of what our conversation could have been.

So in obedience to my husband, I walked up to him. (with no plan mind you) and I started talking.  100 miles a minute.  Really fast.  I think I talked about John MacArthur.  Kirk's Christian testimony.  I don't know.  I just know I talked.  He listened.  I think he was fascinated with my speed in conversation.  There may have been a point where I felt the need to stop and leave.   I remember ending with "Keep up the good work."  And he said, "You too " and gave me a thumbs up.  HAHAHA  I can't stop laughing as I type this because of what he must have thought.

I got in the car and called Matt at work....SCREAMING.... then my parents, friends, bible study leader.  When I got to school it was my topic of the day.  I even shared it with a couple of my music classes.  They had no idea who I was talking about being in  Kindergarten through Sixth grade.

As I laid in bed that night.  I let out a happy sigh and started to think about my whole day and the Lord brought to mind my prayer in the car.  My discouraged, sad, pleading prayer to my Lord to lift me up because I couldn't anymore.  To give me a break in the sadness and despair.  To let me know that He was listening.  I started to cry.  Hard.  So thankful.

I know that my earthly happiness was never going to depend on if I ever met Kirk Cameron.  It wasn't that important.  People laugh and don't believe me but when I think about my meeting Kirk it really isn't about Kirk.   It was about the love that the Lord has for me.  When I hurt.  He cares.  When I'm in despair.  He hears.

I sang at a church the night his mom spoke at the same event.  I tried to share this story with her but as I got going I felt silly.  I hate it that I was "one of those girls."   I am thankful for their family and it is amazing to see how the Lord has used them all and brought their whole family to Himself.

 

Oh and...I love you Matt.  You are the only one for me!

Exploring Tennessee

I finally downloaded a lot of pictures off of my phone yesterday and saw so many things that I wanted to share with ya'll.  As I would take these pictures I would always think, "Oh man, I have to blog about this place!"  Then time would get away from me and I wouldn't do it. So...here are some snapshots of some fun Nashville and neighborhood finds.

First up is the cutest new coffee shop in Franklin called "Frothy Monkey".  I had been to their first location in Nashville and was waiting for this one to open up because it was a lot closer to where I live.   It is always busy and I was happy to hear that they opened seating upstairs.  I have only had coffee (the Turtle mocha was amazing!) but the food looks incredible!  

One of my favorite blessings since moving here was meeting my friend Whitney.  She has been so fun to get to know.  You know the girl who seems good at everything creative?  That's Whitney!  I love our lunch dates which now includes her yummy son ,Liam.  She gave me such a special treat when she invited me to a recording session her dad was doing.  He had arranged some songs to be recorded for the Christian  groups, First Call  and Steve Green.   For those who really know me you know that I LOVED it  and it was so much fun to watch.  I tried really hard to be on my best behavior!

Matt and I kept hearing about a yummy burger spot called The Pharmacy.  It. Was. Unbelievable.  Matt had the Farm burger which is one of their most popular.  It had beef, ham, bacon with an egg on top. I was afraid that if I ate that I would die right there of a heart attack so I went for a plain old cheeseburger.  It was so good.  The buns were made locally.  They make their own sodas like an old fashioned soda shop and they might make their own beers also.  I didn't have a soda and decided to wait until Ivy was with us to have that special treat.

A beautiful picture of downtown Nashville.

I had been part of an auction for a family in our church who was adopting.  I got tickets to a fun jumpy house called Pump it Up.  Even though I was a little freaked out about the germ factor, I told myself I would spray the girls down when we got home and I let them have a blast.

Here is my hard working husband cooking at Waffle House.  I stopped by to see him one day.  Having never worked in a restaurant before, he is getting to be quite a cook cook!

Matt and I visited a shop called Nashville Pickers and it reminded us that Antique Archaeology from the show American Pickers had opened a new location in Nashville.  The original is not far from my parent's house but this was fun to visit the Nashville store.

One restaurant that we have been really wanting to go to since we have moved here is Burger Up.  We visited the one in Nashville and it was so yummy!  Everything they make is grown locally.  

They even make their own ketchup and mustard.  I had the Memphis burger and truffle fries.  I will have that burger again.  The bun (made locally) was so soft and everything tasted so fresh. 

I asked about kids menus and it was really cute because they have a basket full of children's books and inside the cover is the menu taped to it.  

We have joined a rec center as a family and when we went yesterday, they were having a craft fair.  They let kids to all kinds of crafts for free.  Painting, coloring masks, making notebooks, making pottery and face painting!  My girls loved it and I thought it was really fun.

I have saved a couple other places that I want to blog about individually so stay tuned!

Elliott Happenings

Hey Y'all!  It has been so long.  It's not like I haven't had anything to do.  haha.  I have finally started to get my head out of the clouds and see clearly.  It has been a whirlwind few months for our family.  One thing that keeps going through my mind is how kind God has been to us.  We don't deserve anything  yet He has given us so many things that have been the desires of our hearts for so long. Matt is working alot but loving his job, training to be a manager for Waffle House.  I am finally a stay at home mom!  It surprisingly took some adjusting but I am happy and thankful.  We love our new church.  I even had a few ladies over to swim yesterday with their kids.  How is that for branching out and meeting people!   Here are some pictures of events that we have done over the last few months. (I actually downloaded them in backwards order so if you want to see them in order, start at the bottom.  Sorry!)

Ivy starting 1st grade.

                                                          Making cinnamon rolls.

 Potty training Lucy.  She is doing AMAZING!  Not one accident in over a week.  (We just started last Monday!)

                                                                   Swimming

                                               Unpacking....then unpacking some more!

                                     Our cute town.  Spring Hill,Tennessee......I'm so in love!

                                             Road trip to Tennessee. 4 ten hour plus days!

                                      Seeing Friends long the way.  Mick and Terry Pagach

                                        Hanging out waiting for them to change our flat tire. :(

                                                Saying goodbye to Washington friends.

                                                      Packing it up in Washington.

                                        July started with Hollie getting married in California!

 Lamentations 3:222-23  " The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Far More Abundantly Than All That We Ask or Think

Ephesians 3:20 " Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us."


This verse keeps going through my mind over the last couple of days.  If you have read my last blog post, you know that Matt and I have been pretty down.  I don't even know where to start.....but I will start with a little background.

Most of you know that I am a singer.  I grew up wanting to record Christian music and heard that Franklin, TN. was the place to be if you wanted to record.  I even tried to go to a college and major in Contemporary Christian Music.  Thankfully, in God's Sovereignty, I went and majored in Music at The Master's College, married Matt, adopted 2 beautiful children and the rest is Elliott history.

 THEN, one of my best friends moved to Franklin.  I was like...get me and these girls on a plane so I can see this place.  (AND Kelli and her family of course!)  Well.... I loved it there but more importantly, I knew Matt would L.O.V.E. it.  I came home and told him and we started to pray about looking for a job there,etc. Fast forward a year, Matt losing his job, we frantically tried to find a job there but the Lord was clearly moving us to Washington to live with his family and find work.....somewhere....anywhere.  By this time, I had surrendered to the Lord, leaving my friends, church family, my sister, my own home.  I was at the point where I was praying, "Lord, I will move where ever you want us, just please give Matt a job."  I was really starting to feel like Matt was never going to get one.  He had been diligent to apply for jobs for 15 months straight.  I saw him humble himself in ways that no man wants to, but my man was doing all that it took to find a way to provide for his family.  I saw a side to Matt's character that made me love him even more.  I respected him more.  He never gave up.

Last month we had talked about Tennessee with some sadness.  Both saying that it was clear that the Lord had closed the Tennessee door.  Then the NEXT DAY changed our course of life.  Matt found out through Facebook of all things, that the restaurant chain Waffle House was looking for people with BA's to be a manager of their restaurants.  There is a lot of room to move up to District Manager,etc...  Matt applied, had an interview on Skype by the end of the week and flew out to work with another manager for 3 days to make sure that it was something that he wanted to do. ( This was unheard of because they have never hired anyone that did not live in the South.)  While this job is really "thinking outside the box" and not in his purchasing field, I knew he would love it. Who wouldn't want to work with/ for Matt?  I like working for him!  haha. It is really hard work, but nothing for a man who hasn't worked in 15 months and is ready for a job.

God has answered so many prayers along the way.  Answers that we thought were too much of a blessing that we didn't even ask for them but God is working ABUNDANTLY more than we could ask or think. My cup is beyond full of God's kindness.

During all of this excitement, my heart is still aching for some people who are still out of work, some people that I know even who want to move to Tennessee themselves.  I am begging the Lord on their behalf.

I have listened to a sermon by my future, soon to be pastor Byron Yawn, so many times that I have parts of it memorized.  He said that the only way out of a trial is through it.  He also said, "Good will come, God delivers!"  I honestly thought that might not happen for us in this lifetime, it had been so long.  He has deliver us.  It brings tears to my eyes as I type.  He is so faithful to hold our hands through it.  Byron is right, the only way out is through it.  But praise Jesus that I am coming out on the other side.  Can't wait to blog to Y'ALL about Tennessee.  Kel, I'm coming!  The Kelli's will be together again!

My Love Story Part 1

I have a couple of things to blog about but I haven't taken the time to take pictures. So... I've blogged about both of the girls' adoption stories and family life, but one thing that I have always wanted to blog about is Matt and I.

I have thought about him so much lately (Hope so since he is my husband! haha) I have thought of ways to encourage him. In a couple of weeks it will be one year since he has lost his job. I have seen him humble, working hard, trying everything he can to get a job, never giving up but still having that desire to provide for his girls. I am beyond proud of him and so honored to be his wife. Any company would be blessed to have him. I have seen him work hard to get his wrist in shape after breaking it and he has tried to be a strong leader, living in a house right now that is not our own. I love him. I am so proud of him! Next month we will have been together 17 years and this summer we will have been married 15 years!

So let's go back to the beginning. At times it is awkward, not easy, uncomfortable, romantic, exciting, and fun.

I came to The Master's College as a transfer student. I could write a whole blog how much I love The Master's College. I came in the fall of 1994. I was a 21 year old music major. (Yes, it took me a long time to graduate college.) I picked music because I was a singer. I wasn't that smart with music theory and I was in the beginner class. Matt Elliott( a new transfer student himself) was in the theory class above me and they would always we walking out as we were walking in. ( He was a really good trumpet player) So....Matt and I never met, we just always knew who each other was.

I was really struggling with some of my music classes. Easiest the least smart (nice way of saying it)person in my class and I needed help. I got out my chorale phone list and started calling people in the theory class ahead of me to help me with my homework. Random people that I didn't totally know but I was desperate. The name I never really called was Matt Elliott. He was kind of nerdy ( there I said it) and shy. One day I had no other choice. I don't know why but I just didn't want to ask him. He was gracious. I walked up to his dorm and he was standing outside with his roommate and someone's mom and dad. I DID NOT want to meet parents! haha It is so silly but I had a feeling that Matt would start liking me and I didn't want to encourage him, I just needed theory help. I politely said hello and then told him that I would go sit and wait for him. As I was sitting there, he walks in with the parents! Oh no! It turns out it was his roommate Greg's parents. So I met Greg, Rick and Jeanne Wells that night. Matt was such a nice guy and was so kind to help me. That was it. I said thank you. He didn't even know my last name. That was my first memory of Matt Elliott. Matt, being kind, gracious, helpful, the guy he still is to this day.

TBC

My Brave Man

Matt's surgery was yesterday. He was a little nervous about it but everything went well. His dad took him because Ivy had a short day at school. I left as soon I dropped Ivy off at home with Grandma. I was talking to my friend Staci on the phone and got lost on the way! The nurse called to tell me Matt was out of surgery and I had to tell her I got lost.

When I got to the surgery center they ushered me back. Matt looked really good for just getting out of surgery. We had to wait a while for his blood pressure to go down before we could leave and then we were on our way.

He has to wear this blue styrofoam around his wrist to help keep his hand elevated. Ivy was disappointed that they didn't put him in a cast because she wanted to write her and Lucy's name on it. That will have to wait until his Dr.'s appointment next week.

I asked Matt on the way home if he said anything funny when he came to in the recovery room. He said "No. but I will tell you something else I said." He told me that the nurses were going to see if I was in the waiting room to have me come back. Matt said," Ok. She will be the pretty one out there." Oh man.....my heart skipped a beat. Love it when a man says something sweet about their wife in public, and mine did it loaded up with drugs. hahaPlease continue to pray that he wouldn't be in a lot of pain, that his wrist would heal fast and right, and that God would allow our bills to be lowered and that we would have the finances. Continuing to trust the One who has everything under control.

Trying to prayerfully remember that this trial should not be the focus of my attention. It is the Lord. To Him will I look.

Thanks for your prayers!

Just When Things Were Looking Up

Well....Just when I thought things couldn't get worse. Haha. Just kidding. I know they could get worse, even worse than they are right now. Matt has been a little stir crazy so he had the idea to clear out the back yard and take out some old,dead blackberry bushes. He cleared out alot this week with our brother in law and was going to burn what they had piled up. Since it rains every pickin' day around here ( No, I'm not bitter....wink), he was getting the hose and he slipped on a slippery ramp. He fell and broke his wrist in two places. He called for me and after discussion, Matt's dad took him to the emergency room. Long story short, he has to get a plate in it with surgery on Monday morning. That would be concern enough but did I mention that we don't have health insurance because Matt is out of work? We found out that everything is going to cost around $13,000. I don't even know how to put my mind around that except to hand it over to Jesus.

Wow, the Lord continues to get me right in that sweet spot of where I worry the most. At the same time, He has reminded me of how He has taken care of us along the way. My deepest fears have been realized in relation to Matt and work. The what if's I used to ask have now become reality and I'm still here, surviving. Loving my kids, my husband, having food to eat, a place to sleep, I am for the first time in my life living the dream I have always wanted...being a stay at home mom .....just not as I thought, living with my in laws (which I am so grateful to them for) and Matt being out of work. I can thank Him for those things.

I wish so bad that I could see how this part of our journey ends. I can't wait to "look back" and see what the Lord did instead of wonder about the future. Please be in prayer for Matt and his pain, his surgery, the financial aspect of this accident and a job for him. Thank you!

Here is a picture of my tough guy when he came home from the emergency room.
I thought I would add some pictures that I have taken of Washington lately. Really pretty country. Here is the front view coming out of Matt's parents driveway.
The "cow view" looking out my bedroom window.
Part of the drive going up to Matt's parents house. This is only about half way up the hill!
This is my "Twilight" picture. This is what the fog does every morning.

Father's Day 2010

Matt with his girls.


Ivy age 4 checking on her "garden".
Lucy, almost 10 months.
Sisters....

I am thinking of a lot of men today. My own dad that I got to spend a week with. Yeah! I love you dad. A wonderful father in law...Happy Father's Day Tim. Of course ,Matt. But I continue to think and pray for those men who have longed to be a dad, prayed to be a dad, thinks that they would be a great dad but are not one. I remember those hard Father's Days when we wanted to have children but were unable to. This day can be a hard day for many. I'm so thankful that the Lord blessed Matt with 2 beautiful girls. It truly is a gift from the Lord. One that Matt has been such a great steward of these 2 precious gifts.

Lift up a little prayer today for the men who want to be....and to you men, God is faithful and true. Praying that your time will come.