Halloween

 Wow!  I downloaded a lot of pictures off of my phone and realized I have many things to blog about.  I need to at least blog about Halloween before Thanksgiving gets here!  I had a Minnie Mouse and Dorothy for Halloween.  I thought Ivy would be a perfect Dorothy with her braids and Lucy sure is Minnie.  I was so thankful that their Mammo got them costumes this year so they were so excited to finally get to wear them as they had been waiting for months.  We had to wear undergarments as it is much colder trick or treating in Tennessee than it is in California.  I was really homesick for California that day.  I was craving the tradition of going to the Kostjuk's for our annual potluck and I was missing Ashley and Wendy bad!  Ivy even said that she wished she got to see Katie and Lexi that day.  However,  the Lord has been so faithful to let me move close to one of my best friends.  I have LOVED living close to Kelli I.  I never thought we would live by each other again and I have loved it. She is such a great friend.  So...off to Kelli and Jon's house and trick or treating Tennessee style!

 The Peterson cousins joined us!

 Jon gets in the mood and Matt got to join us a while before going back to work.

 Our trailer transportation for the night. (Which was good because the houses are spread further apart than in California and little Lucy couldn't keep up.  Ivy was so sweet to take her bucket to get candy after she was done for and Lucy wanted to carry on a conversation with people at every house.  It was hilarious.  God sure has a sense of humor to give me a daughter that is so shy and then one that could star in her own sitcom on tv.)

 Lucy and her self proclaimed best friend, Karli.

 The ONE picture Kelli has let me take of her since I moved here this summer.  I think she let me do it before she knew what was happening!  She's beautiful!

 Brandy and Neil.  Brandy...fast becoming a good friend.  She was so gracious to take some Christmas pictures of my family before trick or treating.  So if you get one and my girls have coats on, it's because there were Halloween costumes on under their coats!

Matt....my love....enough said!

1st Tennessee Halloween memory down!  Many more Lord willing to come!

Why I Am the Way I Am

     I have been thinking a while about this post.  There are so many titles that I was going to name it.  Like, "Why are those Gorsh kids always so good?" or " I knew that Kelli was religious " or "Kelli just keeps on ticking away when bad things happen to her".  I have loved Facebook and reconnecting with people.  Meeting new people and reconnecting with people I grew up with.  I have loved the encouragement I have received and the prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf.  When I think back to adopting Lucy and how hard that was, it was so nice to be able to send out a prayer request and know that people were praying for me and my family.
     I also know there are a number of people who totally respect me, my religion, etc. and think I am a nice person but also kind of just don't get it.  You think it is fine for me but it's not for you.  Even if we have been friends since childhood, in all honesty, you don't know what I believe and are curious or you really don't care.
     When I was little I remember trying to obey my parents.  I was trying to be a good kid but I always failed.  We all do, don't we?  None of us are perfect.  The more my parents gave me rules, the more I saw myself breaking those rules.  I look back on that now and I am so thankful.  Without those rules, I would never see myself as a rule breaker.  I have been studying lately and see that is why God gave us laws in the Old Testament of the bible.  He did it because without giving us those laws, we wouldn't even know that we were sinning.  He did that (the 10 commandments) so we would measure our life up against them and realize that we can't live up to them.  Sure, we might not all be murderers but we have all told a lie.  The bible says that we break one law it is like we broke them all.  We are all sinners, we broke our relationship with God.  The bible says that no one is righteous, not one of us.  (Romans 3:10)  It says we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  (Romans 3:23)   So all of you that think that I am a good person or that you are, the bible says that we are sinners.  Sounds harsh doesn't it?  Well I think that I am being harsh towards God.  He gives me life and I sin against Him.  When we sin, we have a broken relationship.  Just like you would with any friend or family member.  You do wrong against them, you need to make it right to reconcile that relationship.  The same needs to happen in our relationship with God!
     I know that most of us would say that we are good people going to heaven but since nothing sinful is in heaven, anyone who sins cannot go there unless a price is paid for that sin.    The bible says" For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God, not by works so that no one can boast. "( Ephesians 2 :8-9)  We can't get to heaven by being a good person or we would say we got there all because of what we did and we wouldn't need God or Jesus!
     Well...that news stinks huh? Ha ha Well that is some depressing news.  But wait!  God is a loving God and He would not leave me or you  hanging like that.  He says that since there is not one person who can get to heaven on their own because we are all sinners, He would provide the payment for  our sins.  He would do it.  How about that as a loving God?  I sin against Him and He offers to pay for that sin.  This would only work if there was someone taking care of it who never sinned.  So God sent His Son to do it.  (1John 4:14 "..the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world.")  We needed saving and He sent His own Son,Jesus, to do it.  That is called grace.  It's God's attitude toward the lawbreaker, giving us what we don't deserve (heaven) and showing us mercy, NOT giving us what we Do deserve (hell)
     So...OK.  So we sin, we needed someone to pay for that sin,  God sent Jesus to do it, that's great so now we all go to heaven?  No.  That is not it.  There is one thing that God requires of us. You must believe in Jesus by faith.  (Acts 16:31 "Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.")  It is harder for some than you think.  The bible says that Jesus had earthly brothers and while He was living, they didn't believe in Him that He was to save us from our sins. (John 7:5)   You must believe that the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ dying on the cross and rising from the dead to make the payment for your sins.  There is no other way to get to heaven.  You cannot be a good person to get there, go to church to get there, raise good kids to get there, love your country and obey all the laws (because we don't obey them all anyway) , do philanthropy work, be a pastor, anything to get to heaven except believe this news and accept it by faith.
     When you see yourself as God sees you, you know you need a Savior and you need Him.  I'm so thankful for this news.  Some might say,  Kelli, you have gone crazy!  This is not a popular topic, telling people that they are on a road to hell unless they believe what I believe.  I don't like saying that either.  But let me ask you something.  If what I am saying is true. ( You can look it up yourself because I gave you a lot of bible verses) then what kind of friend would I be if you never heard it and we had been friends for "x" many years?  You can believe me or not but I think there will come a time when you will remember what I said.  That's why I wrote this post.
     So why have I been religious? (I'm really not,  a lot of people have more "religion" than me)  Why do I or my family or some of my friends seem different when those hard times have come?  It's because now that I have believed everything that I told you, I am not separated from God.  We have a relationship.  He is my Father.  I can go to Him.  How can Matt lose countless jobs, I lose a baby during foster care, have infertility issues, etc and not be bitter?  It's because I have a God who loves me,  I can trust Him.  I have heaven to look forward to and believe me, as life gets hard, I look forward to being there more and more.
     Some might be totally appalled at what I said, some might have questions, some might think that it is great for me, but we all die and then what happens next?  What if I am right?  But it's too late to go back?  I don't want to be morbid but isn't it something we should all think about?  Choose to believe me or not but if something is true, it doesn't matter if you believe it or not, it is still true.  I choose to believe by faith, what Jesus said.  You can email me if you want.  My email address is my Facebook but better yet read the bible, start with the book of John and read it for yourself, don't take my word for it.  I'm just a girl, thinking about her friends, never wanting to think about what I should have said. Love to you all.
 
   

I'm a complainer.

     I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head today.  After reading various comments on Facebook on how moms are fed up with their kids I finally said something.  For the record,  I am sure I have put up the same kind of message up for the world to see so I am not coming out and preaching to everyone something that I haven't preached to myself many times.  I am no better than you, however, the Lord has convicted my heart on this area many times.
     I think I am a huge complainer...or used to be...or sinfully, want to be.  It is allergy season for me and if your my friend you know that in the fall I can be a hermit, not going outside to sniff the pollen.  The other day, my allergy attack was in full force and you did not want to get in my way!  If I don't feel good...I'll alter the saying, "If mama don't feel good we all will suffer".  I think Matt was running out the door for work just to get away from me.  All that to say, I can be a complainer too.
      I think the Lord has made me go through some experiences to teach me how grateful I should be.  I remember struggling with infertility issues and I would go places (sadly, church was the worst) and everybody was complaining about their kids.  I wanted to be a mom so bad and these women had what I wanted and were so ungrateful for it.  I'm not talking the occasional outburst to get out your frustration before your top blows (although we do need to be careful, we are only human) but there are alot of women who complain about their kids so much that they don't even know they do it.  Or they think it's funny.  Their kids are the butt of their jokes.  Sadly,  I would have given almost anything to have what they had.  I also thought that I would have been just like them if the Lord did not have me wait so long.
     I have one child, that we are like oil and water many times.  She can set me off fast.  I HATE that about myself!  I HATE it!  I pray about it all the time.  I often think, what if something would happen to her and I look back on our relationship and all I can think of is all the times that I bossed her around, lost my temper, gave out orders, and "gave it to her" when she disobeyed.  I would never forgive myself.
     This is also the first time in my life where I haven't been a working mom.  I remember having to leave Ivy to go to work and I longed to be home with her.  I would read comments where moms would write, "get me out of here!"  Again,  God showed me that if that day ever came where I was a stay at home mom, I needed to get my attitude in order.  I have a working friend who longs to be a stay at home mommy and I wouldn't DARE complain to her, she would trade me in a heartbeat!
     The funny thing is, as I am writing this post and ALL morning, Lucy has been hanging on me.  I can't get very much done.  She loves to be by my side.  I got out toys for her and everything and she just wants to hang on me.  As she was starting to hang on me and I was getting frustrated, I was saying all of these things to myself.
     I know it is different when kids are older,  I have a first grader who is just starting to pick things up she has learned at school, making me what to wave my finger " Oh no you didn't!"  I know this is just the tip of the iceberg.  But this is exactly why we need to remind ourselves what a precious gift our children are!  They are a blessing.  They could be gone in an instant!  Psalm 127 says, " Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.  Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them."
     I am not trying to be holier than thou.  This is such a struggle for me, but let's encourage each other and remind each other of the blessings we have.  This will convict my own heart. Even today.  Probably at 3:55pm to be exact when the bus rolls in.  Haha.  I'm thankful that the Lord has placed this on my heart today so that I can remind  myself all day.
     Philippians 2:14-15 " Do all things without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."

   

40.

     Well, it finally happened.  I turned 40 this weekend.  Mixed emotions.  For the first time I was actually feeling...."old".  The night before I laid in bed and thanked the Lord for so many things as I thought about my life.
     I thought about growing up in a Christian home, my talks with dad and shopping with mom.  Always having a great fun youth group to go to.  Church and youth group were some of the best moments I had growing up.  My closest friends came from there.
     Working at Hidden Acres as a summer camp counselor.  My first taste of independence.  I loved those summers.
     Life changing experience.  Moving to California to go to the Master's College.  I became a different person there.  I grew so much and loved every minute of it.  I was so thankful that the Lord provided a way for me to go.  I think I never would have left Iowa if it were not for college.  I think of leaving for California as one of the most pivotal times in my life.  I knew one person when I started and God gave me so much more.
     Meeting and marrying Matt.  I don't even think I really knew who I was marrying.  He has proved to be so much more than I could have ever hoped for.  He is the man that you want to go through trials with.  He shows me more mercy and love than I have ever been given by any person.  He is steady and quietly strong.  I love him and he has changed me for the better.
    After college and marriage,  meeting the best girlfriends I could have ever asked for.  They have changed my life.  I love them so much.  They have been through many trials with me and have been so faithful.  I am not always an easy friend to stand by and they have done it.  They will be in my life forever.  I don't even have to name them.  They know who they are and I'm sure most of you know them too.
     Having Hollie live by us.  I loved living by my sister.  She was such an encouragement to me.  In my wants, hard times, and victories.  I'm still thanking the Lord for the ways that He has provided for her deepest desires. ( Holla Mrs. Jackson!)
     The birth and adoption of my baby girls.  A path I would have never chosen to go on.  So much waiting, disappointment and hurt.  But I really don't think there is a week that goes by that I don't thank the Lord for the life changing path he put Matt and I on.  I love adoption!  I'm blessed to be apart of it.  I am more thoughtful to others because of it.  The whole experience made me a better mom.  Those two girls have changed my life.  I'm more in love with Matt, watching him be a dad to those two beauties.
     Music.  I have so many wonderful memories, singing at different places.  God gives everyone gifts to use for Him.  I am humbled and thankful that He gave me so many opportunities to do something for Him that I love doing.  Do people still want 40 year olds to sing in church?  I hope so.  haha
     Church.  I have grown so much at the different churches God put me in.  I know there are people around the country and world who are growing on their own and don't have a good bible teaching church and good Christian fellowship.  I have had some great experiences.  I hope and pray I haven't wasted those experiences or taken them for granted.
     Legacy Christian Academy.  I worked as a music teacher for almost 15 years.  I don't think I really appreciated it until the last few years.  I always had fun there and will always be thankful that I had Christian bosses.  Any discussion we had always ended in prayer.  When I was hurting in my personal life, what boss would sit and pray with me as I cried?  I still have encouraging notes from him.  I'll always have many memories where he showed me grace in tough situations.
     Now moving to Tennessee.  I still can't believe he gave me the desire of our hearts and moved us here. AND I am a stay at home mom.
     My girls are young,  Matt has a new job, I am just getting to know people. I'm wondering what is coming next?  I'm praying that I'll be more faithful and obedient to Him.  That I'll grow more in love with Jesus.  That I'll have really good relationships with my girls.  The kind where they want to come to their mom about everything! The kind that grows into a good friendship in later years.  I pray that Matt and I will continue to be best friends.  That I will die to self and serve Him more.  He works so hard for His girls.  I pray I'll be used more in the church.  Build deep relationships here in Nashville.
     Maybe 40 isn't so bad.  You have lived long enough to reflect over your life so far but hopefully I'll have many more years to go.  Here's to the next 40!

I Remember.....

                                                       Lucy's 1st Gotcha Day Last Year

We try not to treat the girls' Gotcha Days as big as their birthday but we do try to make it a special day. Today, we got Lucy her present (Doc McStuffins) when she woke up, had pancakes, she picked going to the  Cool Springs mall to play, and then one of her favorite girls, Karli is coming to swim with the whole family.  Here are some things that I remember.  Things that I don't want to forget.

I remember....I prayed so hard that Lucy would be adopted before her first birthday, something that was unheard of in the foster care system.  God answered my prayer and she was adopted 9 days before her first birthday.

I remember.... Wendy and Hollie came to court with us and the Judge told them where they could stand to video.  They both started crying before we even started so the bailiff had to bring them both kleenex.

I remember.....We all took pictures with Lucy in the waiting room and our lawyer came up and scolded us because we couldn't take pictures there because there were minors in the waiting room waiting for court.

I remember..... feeling sad, sitting there watching all of these families waiting to go have their case heard before the judge because of custody and parents losing their children and we were sitting there so happy. ( Matt even knew a girl that was waiting).

I remember....being overwhelmed with God's goodness.  After all of the years of trying to stay faithful to the Lord in this trial, I couldn't wait to be done with that awful system they call Foster Care, yet I would do it again to have my Lucy.

I remember.....Looking at her and thinking how beautiful she was.  In awe that she was my daughter.

I remember.... being so happy for Ivy.  She had prayed for a sibling for a couple of years and it was such a special time to talk about how wonderful God is to show her His goodness in her life by bringing her a sister.

I remember.... the feeling of total contentment.  Wanting nothing else.

I remember.... feeling how undeserving I was to have Matt as their daddy.  He's the best and loves all of his girls.  (I'm one of them!)

Both of my girls have a verse that I have claimed as theirs.  Lucy's was on her announcement.
Her adoption announcement read Lamentations 3:23 " Great is Your faithfulness"
And I remember.....He continues to be just that...faithful.

Elliott Happenings

Hey Y'all!  It has been so long.  It's not like I haven't had anything to do.  haha.  I have finally started to get my head out of the clouds and see clearly.  It has been a whirlwind few months for our family.  One thing that keeps going through my mind is how kind God has been to us.  We don't deserve anything  yet He has given us so many things that have been the desires of our hearts for so long. Matt is working alot but loving his job, training to be a manager for Waffle House.  I am finally a stay at home mom!  It surprisingly took some adjusting but I am happy and thankful.  We love our new church.  I even had a few ladies over to swim yesterday with their kids.  How is that for branching out and meeting people!   Here are some pictures of events that we have done over the last few months. (I actually downloaded them in backwards order so if you want to see them in order, start at the bottom.  Sorry!)

Ivy starting 1st grade.

                                                          Making cinnamon rolls.

 Potty training Lucy.  She is doing AMAZING!  Not one accident in over a week.  (We just started last Monday!)

                                                                   Swimming

                                               Unpacking....then unpacking some more!

                                     Our cute town.  Spring Hill,Tennessee......I'm so in love!

                                             Road trip to Tennessee. 4 ten hour plus days!

                                      Seeing Friends long the way.  Mick and Terry Pagach

                                        Hanging out waiting for them to change our flat tire. :(

                                                Saying goodbye to Washington friends.

                                                      Packing it up in Washington.

                                        July started with Hollie getting married in California!

 Lamentations 3:222-23  " The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

Far More Abundantly Than All That We Ask or Think

Ephesians 3:20 " Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us."


This verse keeps going through my mind over the last couple of days.  If you have read my last blog post, you know that Matt and I have been pretty down.  I don't even know where to start.....but I will start with a little background.

Most of you know that I am a singer.  I grew up wanting to record Christian music and heard that Franklin, TN. was the place to be if you wanted to record.  I even tried to go to a college and major in Contemporary Christian Music.  Thankfully, in God's Sovereignty, I went and majored in Music at The Master's College, married Matt, adopted 2 beautiful children and the rest is Elliott history.

 THEN, one of my best friends moved to Franklin.  I was like...get me and these girls on a plane so I can see this place.  (AND Kelli and her family of course!)  Well.... I loved it there but more importantly, I knew Matt would L.O.V.E. it.  I came home and told him and we started to pray about looking for a job there,etc. Fast forward a year, Matt losing his job, we frantically tried to find a job there but the Lord was clearly moving us to Washington to live with his family and find work.....somewhere....anywhere.  By this time, I had surrendered to the Lord, leaving my friends, church family, my sister, my own home.  I was at the point where I was praying, "Lord, I will move where ever you want us, just please give Matt a job."  I was really starting to feel like Matt was never going to get one.  He had been diligent to apply for jobs for 15 months straight.  I saw him humble himself in ways that no man wants to, but my man was doing all that it took to find a way to provide for his family.  I saw a side to Matt's character that made me love him even more.  I respected him more.  He never gave up.

Last month we had talked about Tennessee with some sadness.  Both saying that it was clear that the Lord had closed the Tennessee door.  Then the NEXT DAY changed our course of life.  Matt found out through Facebook of all things, that the restaurant chain Waffle House was looking for people with BA's to be a manager of their restaurants.  There is a lot of room to move up to District Manager,etc...  Matt applied, had an interview on Skype by the end of the week and flew out to work with another manager for 3 days to make sure that it was something that he wanted to do. ( This was unheard of because they have never hired anyone that did not live in the South.)  While this job is really "thinking outside the box" and not in his purchasing field, I knew he would love it. Who wouldn't want to work with/ for Matt?  I like working for him!  haha. It is really hard work, but nothing for a man who hasn't worked in 15 months and is ready for a job.

God has answered so many prayers along the way.  Answers that we thought were too much of a blessing that we didn't even ask for them but God is working ABUNDANTLY more than we could ask or think. My cup is beyond full of God's kindness.

During all of this excitement, my heart is still aching for some people who are still out of work, some people that I know even who want to move to Tennessee themselves.  I am begging the Lord on their behalf.

I have listened to a sermon by my future, soon to be pastor Byron Yawn, so many times that I have parts of it memorized.  He said that the only way out of a trial is through it.  He also said, "Good will come, God delivers!"  I honestly thought that might not happen for us in this lifetime, it had been so long.  He has deliver us.  It brings tears to my eyes as I type.  He is so faithful to hold our hands through it.  Byron is right, the only way out is through it.  But praise Jesus that I am coming out on the other side.  Can't wait to blog to Y'ALL about Tennessee.  Kel, I'm coming!  The Kelli's will be together again!